the end is here.

Yerp...


The end is here.


I am going to be jobless again in 2 weeks time.


Congrats Nadia.


You are officially the loser among the losers.


Good Luck to me to get a new job.


But before that, let my cry myself a river first.

i miss US.

Those were the days when I had all the time in the world to spend my time with them. Now, everybody is everywhere doing their own thing. It's not easy to meet up and catch up. I just can't wait for RAYA because I know, that will be the time where everybody will make time for each other :)

*iftar with the girls that I ♥*

p/s: finally all of us had the time to have our iftar together. If only all of the 'Beaches & Aceholes' were there too...

being lonely.

Being lonely is sucks.

Being lonely is sad.

But sometimes being lonely is what we need to appreciate what we had before. 

Or what we have now. 

Oh Snap! It's the OrangUtan!

Found this video after I watched "The Rise of The Plane of The Apes". Yeah, it's pretty creepy to see how apes (or OrangUtan) can act just like humans. I guess Darwin's theory was right after all! 

conversation with my little brother.

His birthday was last May. He demanded expensive things from my parents. Mind you, he is only 13. He got an iPod touch from my dad and also a whole set of suit from my mom. (Blazer, vest, shirt, slack trousers and tie). It is ridiculous right?  

Me: Motif?

Mama: Papa la yang suruh. Mama dah kene beli sebab Jemir nak sangat. 

Me: Manja kan sangat! 

Actually I'm jealous. I mean, it costs almost RM500! 

Me: Jemir nak pakai blazer pergi mana?

Jemir: Ntah. Hotel kot.

Me: Membazir je. Hotel mana? Untuk?

Jemir: Ntah. If ada makan-makan, jemir pakai la.

Emir: Alaa..nanti kakak kawin kat hotel, Jemir pakai la.

Me: Hamboih!

And one day, Jemir asked me a question.

Jemir: Kak, bila kakak nak kahwin?

Me: Huh? Kenapa tetiba tanya??

Jemir: Jemir nak pakai suit! Nanti tak muat!

Me: Tunggu lagi 2-3 tahun. Padan muka! 

Jemir: Alaa...kahwinlah akhir tahun ni. Or tahun depan. Insyallah Jemir muat lagi pakai suit if tahun depan.

Me: Ingat senang ke nak kahwin? Sapa nak bagi duit? Plus, if kakak kahwin, kene pakai baju melayu ok? No suit.

Jemir: Alaa...kata nak buat kat hotel. Suit la.

Me: Jemir nak bagi kakak duit ke? Kakak buat kat dewan je. Baju melayu ok?

Jemir: Takde. Jemir nak pakai suit gak! And Jemir boleh guarantee yang kakak akan kahwin akhir tahun nie.

Me: =_='

Gile punye adik!

Will you weep with me?

If you know someone that will always be there for you no matter when you're happy or sad, can I be his/her friend?
Will you introduce me to him/her?

what to respond?

A few weeks ago, in class....

Me: Have a nice weekend everyone! See you next Monday!

Students: See you, miss!

Boy A: I'll see you in my dream, miss.

Me: o..kay...

A few weeks ago, in my office...

Boy A: How does it feel like to be 20-ish?

Me: Feel so old.

Boy A: You're not old, miss. You still look perky...

Me: o..kay...

Boy A: That does not sound right, right?

Me: Yaa.... i guess...but, thank you...i guess.

Just now, in class....

Me: Let me check your essay.

Boy R: Okay. 

Boy A: Miss, you smell so nice. I like it.

Me: o..kay... thank you.

I don't know about you guys, but it is weird for me to hear that from my student. Especially when it's from a boy. I know he was just trying to be friendly but it is still awkward. To be honest, I don't even know how to respond to that kind of comment. Maybe I should just say "thank you" right? I mean, he was just simply complimenting me. I don't even know why I should feel awkward about it.

So to Boy A, thank you. I guess. :)

p/s: Maybe because he is 18 and I am 24? Or maybe because he is a student and I'm a lecturer? Or maybe it IS because I AM getting OLD. Oh well, Hello Miss Old Nadia =_='

train incident.

Last Friday, when I was on my way to KLCC via LRT, there was a mother and her daughter sat in front of me. The daughter is so adorable and I think that was her first time on a train. She was like "Ohh mummy, I can see everything from here", "Ohhh mummy, look!" with her cute voice. I think the daughter is a chindian. So cute!

Anyways, while she was saying "ohhh" that and "ohh" this...I was listening to songs on my phone. I wasn't really paying attention until suddenly a chinese guy who sat beside me, waving his hand at my face. 

And it went like this:

Me: Yes?

Him: What kind of song are you listening to?

Me: Err...is it so loud?

Him: No...I was just asking.

Me: Owh okay...  

And when I was about to put earphone back into my ear...

Him: Don't you think she's annoying? I can't stand kids like that. If I were her parent, I would bury my face somewhere so that people won't see me.

He was referring to the daughter who sat in front of us. And he didn't talk softly... He talked quite loud which I was pretty sure that the mother could heard him.

Me: Erm...but she's cute what...and she's a kid...so it's normal la...

Him: Are you defending her??

Me: Yaa... I love kids. 

Him: *shaking his head*

And again, when I thought the conversation was over...

Him: Let me give you two situations...

Me: Uh hmm...

Him: If you have to choose between two guys...one of the guy is funny and he really makes you laugh...

Me: Uh hmm...

Him: The other guy...he really cares about you...he treats you like a princess...to him, you are the world... So who would you choose?

Me: I'll choose the first guy.

Him: Really? Why?

Me: I don't like guy who is clingy and needy. 

Him: Wohooo! Good answer! 

*He asked for a knuckle. Something like a high-five. I don't know what it's called actually*

Him: Must be based on experience right?

Me: No laa.. *faking a laugh*

Him: By the way, my name is Jon. You?

Me: Nadia. *shaking his hand*

And apparently he didn't stop there...

Him: I got the wrong train you know? I can't believe I took the wrong train before. I mean, I took train everyday to work and going back home. I don't know how I could take the wrong one just now.

Me: Maybe because you're so tired. You didn't realize it.

Him: Wow! Genius! Maybe... Right! Right! 

Me: *faking a laugh again*

But in my heart, I can't stop hoping that he would just shut up.

Him: So what are you doing now?

Me: I'm a lecturer.

Him: Wow! oh wow! where?

Me: INTEC. Do you know what is it?

Him: So you're teaching the untalented students? *laughing*

Him: I know some lecturers have to teach the untalented kids. *still laughing*

Me: They are actually very clever.

Him: Are you sure or not?

Me: Ya. They are under scholarship from JPA and MARA. They are going to overseas for their degree. I'm teaching A-Level students.

Him: Oh okay. So what are you teaching?

ME: English. Basic stuff before they are introduced to IELTS.

Him: Whoa! you teach IELTS? *laughing* you're teaching IELTS?? *sounded disbelief*

Me: Not really. I don't have the qualification to teach IELTS. I'm teaching them basic stuff.

Him: *laughing*

Me: *annoyed, and when I was about to put my earphone into my ear again...*

Him: Can I have your number? My station is next. Maybe we can keep in touch later.

Me: Err...Okay.

And yes, I gave him my number. I was holding my phone at that time. So I had to give it to him. And he miscalled right there and then to give me his number.

And when he walked out of the train, I felt relieved. And when I was about to put my earphone into my ear again, suddenly I heard a loud knocked behind me. And it was him. Knocked the window quite loud just to wave goodbye. And everybody in the train that was near me, looked at me. 

A few hours later.

Beep. Beep.

I got a text. And it was him.

"Nice to know that you're not in2 old guys. haha*

Next morning.

He called. But I didn't pick up.

I know he was being friendly. But there is something about his attitude that I don't like. he was like a little bit arrogant, I think. And quite rude. Especially when he commented about the little girl. I mean, you don't have to talk about it loudly right? I am so sure that the mother could heard him. Because she was sitting right in front of us. 


But to be honest, if he didn't talk about that kid in that kind of way, I might be interested to add him as my new friend. 

Oh well. Everyday you will meet new people right?

pathetic, i am.

yeah, i'm pathetic. i know. 

the fasting month is bacckk!

List of food that I wanted to eat before Ramadhan:

1. Sakae Sushi
2. Johnny's Steamboat
3. Chicken Rice Shop
4. Nando's
5. Old Town White Coffee
6. Cheesy Wedges (KFC)
7. Ben's
8. Red Velvet Cake/Cupcake
9. Aunty Anne
10. Tony Roma's
11. IKEA Meatballs
12. Butter Cream Chicken Rice

I'm so going to crave some of the food that I did not manage to eat before fasting. I don't really like to 'berbuka' at restaurants because i hate the waiting part. And the food will be served early and it will be cold once we eat it. Oh well....

Anyways, Selamat Berpuasa everyone!

Happy Ramadhan!

p/s: to the boys, please don't ponteng puasa ;)

i want twins!

aren't they just too cute?

should i care?

if only i could do that.

if only i have that kind of attitude. 

Check in the dark - The stand In

Lyrics:
i saw an angel night before last
they come from kentucky, who'd have thought that?
she had a smile, it was so genuinely kind
sorta make you feel like you're sipping on some fine red wine

she rendered me speechless, well she rendered me still
she had me feeling like the fool on the hill
she said she's taken but i don't believe
that she could be meant for anybody but me

angels come from kentucky i guess
sweet sweet girl you made my head a mess
you got me locked out here, dancing in the rain
drunk with the thought of your smiling face
i know you are an angel and it can not be
but what if it was you and what if it was me
and...what if 600 years ago, you were juliet and I was...
well you know how that story goes....

so what if its a puzzle and you're the only piece the only jig to make my saw complete
what if i go stumbling for the rest of my days because i am a cripple and you were my cane oh no....

angels come from kentucky i guess
sweet sweet girl you made my head a mess
you got me locked out here, dancing in the rain
drunk with the thought of your smiling face
i know you are an angel and it can not be
but what if it was you and what if it was me
and...what if 600 years ago, you were juliet and I was...
well you know how that story goes....


p/s: I don't know why but I think this song is so sweet. Can't stop listening to it.

Going down.

I built my wall of confidence this high...

but now....

it's crumbling down.....

crumbling down....

down....

down....

down...

down...

and

DOWN.

I have no more strength to pretend how tough i can be.

I have nothing but feel ashamed of myself. 

p/s: praying to Allah to help me to go through these difficulties and make me stronger than I was ever before. 

no happy ending.

Right now I'm in a phase where:

I just want run away and hide.

I can't handle the truth.

I can't stop blaming myself for making that stupid mistake.

For once, I just want things to go according to my plan.

Or how I imagine it to be. 

If i could turn back time...

I keep saying to myself, "there's no use of crying over spilt milk". But, it is not helping. I keep crying over the past. I keep thinking about past. I keep dreaming about the past. I want to be in the past. I want to be able to redo all the things that I've done and undo all the mistakes that I've made. 

I want to live my life with no regrets but unfortunately, I have plenty. I keep trying to pretend that it will all be alright. But every night before I sleep, I know it will never be alright. I keep trying to fix it but all i do is making it worse. I keep forcing myself to move forward, but all I want to do is move backwards and be in the past. Change the past. Live the past. 

My life is full of regrets and I just don't know how to deal with them. I don't know how to make my life better. I don't know how to make me feel better. All i know is, if i'm able to change the past, i might get to live like how i want it to be. 

I cried.

I cried and I cried and I prayed. 

Hoping that my life will be better. Hoping that I will have a better future. Hoping that I will be able to go through all the obstacles.

But somehow, I feel like I am destined to be a failure.

No matter how hard I try to climb up, I will always fall down.

I envy those who succeeds in everything.

Especially those whom I think are not worthy. Yes, I'm a little bit upset here. 

But maybe, just maybe, this is the way that God is trying to tell me to work harder. 

Maybe He wants to test me.

Or maybe He is punishing me for all the sins that I have done.

I cried and I cried and I prayed.

Hoping that all of this will go away.

Hoping that all of this is just a dream. 

Hoping to wake up tomorrow with a good news.

Perkara yang saya TAK SUKA.

Ada beberapa perkara yang saya memang TAK SUKA pasal orang dan beberapa perkara itu adalah:

1. TAK SUKA bile orang TAK SIGNAL nak ke kiri or kanan. Bikin stress ok?
2. TAK SUKA bile orang nak ke KIRI tapi SIGNAL KANAN atau sebaliknya. Perlu ke sekolah dan belajar kiri dan kanan ke?
3. TAK SUKA bile orang di depan berjalan sambil menghayunkan tangan dia setinggi yang boleh. Lebih-lebih lagi kalo dia memegang payung. Hello, ada orang kat belakang awak tue. 
4. TAK SUKE bile orang di depan jalan sangat lembab! 
5. TAK SUKE bile ada orang yang kita kenal buat-buat TAK NAMPAK padahal dia dah nampak. Tak perlu lah menggelabah sangat.
6. TAK SUKE bile orang lupe kawan bile dia dah ada kawan baru atau boyfriend/girlfriend baru. Bile dah susah baru terhegeh nak cari kawan lama la?
7. TAK SUKE memandu di belakang lori atau bas. Tak nampak jalan. Tapi bas and lori nie tak reti nak memandu di lorong yang sepatutnya mereka memandu. HISH!
8. TAK SUKE bile orang tue nak menipu tapi kantoi melalui Facebook or Twitter. Hello, kalo taknak kantoi, janganlah update status!
9. TAK SUKE bile orang tak paham bahasa. Macam nak sekeh je kepala.
10. TAK SUKE bile orang tue cakap lain, tapi dia buat benda lain lepas tue.
11. TAK SUKE bile orang tue sangatlah riak atau berlagak tapi berpura-pura tidak berlagak. Hello, actions speak louder than words ok?
12. TAK SUKE bile tengah tengok wayang, orang di belakang buat bising (i.e gelak, cakap kuat, bercerita pasal movie tue). Saya bayar tiket wayang mahal bukan untuk dengar awak bising atau bercerita, paham?
13. TAK SUKE kalo lelaki itu sangatlah kacak dan comel tetapi malangnya dia gay. Kenapa???

Orang sebegini bikin stress!

Happy Mama's Day!

Happy Mother's Day, Mama!

Thank you so much everything that you have done for me. I know I'm not a perfect daughter but I do love you. I'm sorry for all the hurt that I've caused you. Sorry for being such a disappointment daughter. Sorry for not able to give you money. 

But I promise you, I will do my best to take care of you and be there for you whenever you need me.

Thank you for loving me and thank you for always being there for me. 

Love you, Ma.

who says two is better than one?

Honestly, I have no idea how people manage to handle work and study at the same time. I have been working for 2 weeks and I am struggling right now. Thank God today will be my last class for this semester. 

But my final papers will be on the 29th of April and I hope I manage to study. Do you see the letter 's'? Yerp. Two final papers in 1 DAY. 

• 3-5.30 pm
• 6-9 pm

Menangis tak?

I just hope I can do it. 

p/s: baru 2 minggu keje, dah whining. buruk perangai kan?

Emmeline.

Introducing Erland and The Carnival. "Emmeline"

Thanks to Dianna Agron (Quinn in Glee), I am now addicted to this song. AWHSOME! 

p/s: i feel like i'm someplace else when I listen to this song. 

The lonely.

This song gives me chills. 

One 'bimbo' family at home!

Something happened just now. 

It started like this....

I was on my way to the kitchen, and halfway there, I saw something on the floor. It was brown in color, the size was 5x bigger than a cockroach and it has something like an 'antenna'. I walked back to the living room and asked my youngest brother, Jemir to take a look at it.

Big mistake.

Me: Jemir, apa tue kat dapur?

Jemir: Apa?

Me: Tengok la...

Jemir: *walked slowly with a pillow in his hand and menyorok belakang dinding to take a look at that thing*

Jemir: EEEEE! Apa tue?????

Me: Mana lah kakak taw!!

Jemir: Ma, tengok ma! *peluk bantal*

Now my mom and my dad.

Mama: Apa dia? *menyorok belakang dinding ALSO to take a look at that thing*

Mama: EEEE!! Apa tue?? Pa! Tengok pa! Apa tue??

Papa: Apa dia? Ayam la. Ayam percik jatuh kot.

*my dad bought ayam percik for dinner*

Mama: Bukan! Tengok la!

Papa: *walked slowly and menyorok belakang dinding ALSO*

Papa: EEEE! Apa tue? 

Mama, Me and Jemir: Taktau! Tengokla!

Papa: *went to the kitchen to get a closer look with a newspaper in his hand*

Papa: OWH..... Nie haiwan yang confuse tue...

Jemir: If dia terbang, Jemir lari naik!

Papa: Tak terbang la. Haiwan yang confuse tue la.

Me: Haiwan apa?

Papa: Haiwan nie taktau dia siput or dia babi.

Mama: Buang la!

Papa: *he picked it up and brought it to the living room*

Mama, Me and Jemir: *screamed*

Wanna know why we screamed? Because my dad wanted to throw it to us. Especially to my mom. And my mom took a newspaper and beat my dad up and my dad almost put it on my mom's head! And where was I and Jemir you asked? We were on the other side of the living room holding a pillow in case my dad wanted to throw it at us. Haha.

And when my dad wanted to throw the 'siput babi' outside, he accidentally dropped it on the floor and EVERYBODY screamed! Yeah, we were like bimbos. Haha.

p/s: Emir was not home. So, he missed out the whole thing. Too bad! Back to ASSignments now. 

oh Adele!

Please come to Malaysia. I am in love with your voice. I love your songs. 

p/s: Can't stop listening to her songs. 

Jerawat Oh Jerawat.

I have pimples! And of the pimples is situated on the side of my nose. Not inside my nose, okay.

That is not the embarrassing part yet. 

I was on the way to Tatie's house to pick her up to go to UM. I didn't realize how big my pimple was on the side of my nose until I stopped at the traffic light. So while waiting for the light to turn green, I decided to 'picit' my pimple. So I looked at the mirror and squeezed it as hard as I can. And suddenly I felt like someone was looking at me. And when I turned around...

Yerp, you guess it right. A police car. Two police men was looking at me and they smiled at me. More like 'tersengih'. I was so embarrassed and I just looked at the front and wished that the traffic would turn to green at anytime soon. Once the traffic light turned green, I drove as fast as I can (not above the speed limit). Malu okay!

p/s: okay, I need to start to buy facial wash. 

First time.

I had to do a demo teaching yesterday (Tuesday) at ELS PJ. As you all know, I am desperately looking for a job. It's not like I'm not enjoying myself at home doing nothing but watching tv and eat all the time. But I need money. And to have money means, I have to work. Unless I have Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt as my parents. I don't have to work at all! OR maybe people will offer me a job without me asking for it. HA! If only I have Angelina and Brad Pitt as my parents lah. *dream on, Nadia!*

Anyway, back to my demo teaching experience. I was told to teach "Adverbs of Frequency". I hate teaching grammar. Because sometimes my grammar pun lintang-pukang. Haha. So, I prepared slides and also lesson plan only to know that I was not able to use the slides. Pfft! And I couldn't sleep the whole night because I was nervous. 

That morning, it was raining heavily. The road was so jammed. My demo teaching was at 9.30, so I got out at 7.45. And I reached ELS PJ around 9.15! Crazy right? 

I started the class by asking them to introduce themselves. And then I started teaching. Mind you, the students there are mostly Arabians. Or maybe Pakistanis. I had never taught students from Middle East before. And while I was asking them to give me example of a 'be verb', one particular student stood up.

Particular student: Ahm teacher! Ahm!

Me: Sorry? Arm? 

Particular student: Ahm teacher!!

Me: Arm? What's wrong with my arm?

Particular student: No teacher! Ahm?

Me: Your arm?

Particular student: No teacher! I ahm!

Me: Owh! 'am'... You mean 'I am'?

Particular student: Yes, teacher. Am.

Geez! I have heard stories from Tatie and Wawa about their students' pronunciation. And I always laughed at their stories. Now I have experienced it myself. I felt so bimbo and embarrassed. I mean, the Academic Director was observing me kot! Thank God she didn't comment anything about that. HA!

p/s: here's to hoping that I will get a job. Amin. 

which one suits me better?

Okay, I am so nervous right now for my demo teaching tomorrow that I can't sleep. And when I am stressed out and nervous, I tend to eat a lot. I don't want that to happen. So, I'm distracting myself by blogging.

I have always wanted to have a beautiful, shiny, long hair. But unfortunately, my hair is unhealthy. My hair drop is so not normal that I am now almost bald. And because of that, I want to have a short hair. Like super short. (To keep my hair from gugur excessively, of course.)

But the problem is, I'm scared. Because I don't know whether it will suit my face shape or not. And the second reason is, I have no money to go to a hair saloon. *sigh*

But I do have a few hairstyles that I really want. But like I said before, I'm scared that the hairstyle does not suit my face shape.

my first choice.

my second choice. Thanks to Fa :)

And this is my third choice.

Now do you see my dilemma? Not everybody can pull off that kind of look. Especially my first two choices. But I really want the first picture's hairstyle. It looks so fierce! Haha.

p/s: I'm still scared and nervous. HELP!

Pa, are you okay?

Okay, I don't know if there is something wrong with my dad but he suddenly asked me whether if I want an iPad or not. Pa, are you okay? And what kind of question is that? Do I want an iPad or not? Duhh. Of course! Who doesn't, right? It's not like I begged him for it. He suddenly popped the question. Haha.

And I terus Google about iPad 2. *Semangat!*

• It is thinner and lighter than iPad 1 and iPhone 4. *wow*
• It has 2 cameras. One at the front and the other one is at the back for taking pics and also video chat. *double wow*
• It's faster.
• It has 2 colors. Black and white. And both are equally hot! Should i choose black? Or should I choose white? Maybe black. No no. Maybe white. Oh boy! I'm confused!

But it's not like I'm going to get it sooner or later. Knowing my dad, I probably won't get it at all. I hate it when I get all excited only to know that I'll get crushed later. *sigh*

p/s: Preparing myself, mentally and physically, in case I didn't get the iPad 2. Haha. Okay, I should continue doing my ASSignment rather than thinking about something that I might or might not get. But still...I'm pretty excited just thinking about it. Haha.

need to get a LIFE.

I'm in a mood to stalk someone. I'm stalking someone who I haven't heard about for quite sometime. And why do I need to stalk that person? Well, so that I have something to gossip about with my friends. Yes, to tambah dosa. And unfortunately for me, I couldn't find anything about that person. Damn, you're good! But I believe that not everybody can hide him/herself that long. I'll find you, one day! Ngee~

p/s: I still haven't done my ASSignment that need to be submitted this Friday and also my LP for my demo teaching this Tuesday at ELS PJ. Oh snap!

Mini Bieber!

This is soo cute! And he is only 3 years old! He might be the next Bieber! Haha!

p/s: I love the part when he sings 'down, down, down'. And also at the end of the song. This boy is just too cute!

PRAY for JAPAN.

Up until now, I don't have the guts to watch all of the video clips of Japan being 'attacked' by the tsunami and earthquake. I only have seen the pictures and it saddens me. All of the lost lives. The missing persons. I can't imagine the pain that they are going through right now. It's a tragedy. I hope they can recover from this catastrophe soon. My heart goes out to all of the victims there. 

Let's help them to ease their pain. Let's donate. 

p/s: I am amazed how the people there work together and stay united to go through this tragedy and I salute them.  I pray for you, Japan. May you recover soon.

PROCRASTINATOR.

I must not procrastinate.

I wish I can!

And now I have lots of assignments to do. And yet, I still didn't do anything about it! I kept on saying I will do it in a couple of hours and in the end, nothing has been done.

My list of assignments:
1. Read a Novel.
2. Find 10 journals and conduct TWO lesson plans and write a report about it.
3. TWO presentations.

And right now, I feel like watching Pretty Little Liars latest episode. Maybe I'll start looking for journals after watching PLL. Maybe..

p/s: All of the assignments are due before end of this month. And now, it is already the second week of the month. *sigh*