love.

gerarld butler *drools*

i've just watched p.s. i love you at ASTRO and surprisingly, even though the movie is not as good as the book, i still cried every time i watched it. but unlike the book, i cried like from the first page till the end! you have no idea how the story touched me. the part where Gerry (Gerard Butler) planned everything before he died to help his wife to move on with her life without him, the part where he ends his letter with p.s. i love you, the part where he wants her to love again with someone else, the part where Holly (Hillary Swank) doesn't feel his presence anymore at the end of the movie..ohmaigod..it is so touching and moving!i am on tears right now as i am writing this..i hate love story!it always make me cry :'(


when you love someone, it means that you give your whole heart to that person. you dedicate your life to him. you do everything for him. you live for him. but what happen when he is no longer there? what happen to your life? does it died along with him? i salute to all the women who are strong enough to move on with their life. i know i can't. i always thought that i am an independent woman. i can live without man in my life. oh boy, i was wrong. i am starting to be dependent on the person i love. i feel like i always need him there with me. i feel like i'm a clingy person! and that is not good. oh dear!


do you sometimes have an awkward feeling when you enter a room full of people alone? but when the  person you love is there with you, everything is just perfect. no more awkwardness, no more loneliness. i always feel extra confident when i have that special someone with me..i feel like i can be totally me when i am with him..no secrets..i am comfortable with my own skin..don't get me wrong here..but sometimes, you still feel lonely even though you are with your friends and family..you feel complete when he is there with you. most of the time, that is how i feel. 


i always put myself in holly's shoes and it scares me. even though it is just a movie (or a story), but i can feel the pain that holly goes through in the story, i cried like i am holly, where the person i love had died and i am all alone. i don't think having family and friends around me will help me overcome my loneliness. i can always mingle around to avoid myself from drowning with sadness but somehow the memory will always be there.  i always pray hoping that i will not encounter that kind of situation some day but we can't predict the future, can we? i'm hoping for the best where my love with him will stay forever and i will have a different ending than holly's. i know it is just a movie, but i could happen right?


p/s:i'm rambling..i'm sleepy..this is what happen when i watch love story when i'm not in a good mood :(