♥ Skinny love ♥

She's 15 and very talented.
I'm 20++ and has no talent. This is sad.
I know this is a cover version but I fall in love with her voice.
Lovely. Beautiful.

I complain and complain and complain.

I think it has been months that i have not updated my blog. I have so many things to write but most of it ends up in drafts section. Oops!

Well today, i promise i will publish this post. :D

Some people said that i look very innocent. Some people said i look like a high school kid! (it's a compliment!) But the truth is, i am a BITCH. This particular someone just made me realize how mean i was to him/her. I just realized that all this while, i take this particular person for granted. I did not show this particular person my appreciation for what this person had done for me. Instead, i complained. We've known each other for quite some time but i have never done anything special for this particular person. Instead, i complained. Yeah, i complained quite a lot when all i need to do is to say 'Thank you'. 

Now, i feel really bad. I feel really guilty. I spent more than an hour trying to reflect my actions towards this person. And i came to a conclusion: UNGRATEFUL. Yes. I have this lovely person with me, who i know would do anything to cheer me up and in return, i would complain. I was being ungrateful. I did not appreciate this person. I was treating this person like SHIT. And now, i'm losing this person. 

So, as a conclusion, always be grateful, Appreciate your friends AND Don't complain a lot. Because the people who are always there for you, might not be there anymore when you keep treating them like shit. 

p/s: I deserve this shit. 

the end is here.

Yerp...


The end is here.


I am going to be jobless again in 2 weeks time.


Congrats Nadia.


You are officially the loser among the losers.


Good Luck to me to get a new job.


But before that, let my cry myself a river first.

i miss US.

Those were the days when I had all the time in the world to spend my time with them. Now, everybody is everywhere doing their own thing. It's not easy to meet up and catch up. I just can't wait for RAYA because I know, that will be the time where everybody will make time for each other :)

*iftar with the girls that I ♥*

p/s: finally all of us had the time to have our iftar together. If only all of the 'Beaches & Aceholes' were there too...

being lonely.

Being lonely is sucks.

Being lonely is sad.

But sometimes being lonely is what we need to appreciate what we had before. 

Or what we have now. 

Oh Snap! It's the OrangUtan!

Found this video after I watched "The Rise of The Plane of The Apes". Yeah, it's pretty creepy to see how apes (or OrangUtan) can act just like humans. I guess Darwin's theory was right after all! 

conversation with my little brother.

His birthday was last May. He demanded expensive things from my parents. Mind you, he is only 13. He got an iPod touch from my dad and also a whole set of suit from my mom. (Blazer, vest, shirt, slack trousers and tie). It is ridiculous right?  

Me: Motif?

Mama: Papa la yang suruh. Mama dah kene beli sebab Jemir nak sangat. 

Me: Manja kan sangat! 

Actually I'm jealous. I mean, it costs almost RM500! 

Me: Jemir nak pakai blazer pergi mana?

Jemir: Ntah. Hotel kot.

Me: Membazir je. Hotel mana? Untuk?

Jemir: Ntah. If ada makan-makan, jemir pakai la.

Emir: Alaa..nanti kakak kawin kat hotel, Jemir pakai la.

Me: Hamboih!

And one day, Jemir asked me a question.

Jemir: Kak, bila kakak nak kahwin?

Me: Huh? Kenapa tetiba tanya??

Jemir: Jemir nak pakai suit! Nanti tak muat!

Me: Tunggu lagi 2-3 tahun. Padan muka! 

Jemir: Alaa...kahwinlah akhir tahun ni. Or tahun depan. Insyallah Jemir muat lagi pakai suit if tahun depan.

Me: Ingat senang ke nak kahwin? Sapa nak bagi duit? Plus, if kakak kahwin, kene pakai baju melayu ok? No suit.

Jemir: Alaa...kata nak buat kat hotel. Suit la.

Me: Jemir nak bagi kakak duit ke? Kakak buat kat dewan je. Baju melayu ok?

Jemir: Takde. Jemir nak pakai suit gak! And Jemir boleh guarantee yang kakak akan kahwin akhir tahun nie.

Me: =_='

Gile punye adik!

Will you weep with me?

If you know someone that will always be there for you no matter when you're happy or sad, can I be his/her friend?
Will you introduce me to him/her?

what to respond?

A few weeks ago, in class....

Me: Have a nice weekend everyone! See you next Monday!

Students: See you, miss!

Boy A: I'll see you in my dream, miss.

Me: o..kay...

A few weeks ago, in my office...

Boy A: How does it feel like to be 20-ish?

Me: Feel so old.

Boy A: You're not old, miss. You still look perky...

Me: o..kay...

Boy A: That does not sound right, right?

Me: Yaa.... i guess...but, thank you...i guess.

Just now, in class....

Me: Let me check your essay.

Boy R: Okay. 

Boy A: Miss, you smell so nice. I like it.

Me: o..kay... thank you.

I don't know about you guys, but it is weird for me to hear that from my student. Especially when it's from a boy. I know he was just trying to be friendly but it is still awkward. To be honest, I don't even know how to respond to that kind of comment. Maybe I should just say "thank you" right? I mean, he was just simply complimenting me. I don't even know why I should feel awkward about it.

So to Boy A, thank you. I guess. :)

p/s: Maybe because he is 18 and I am 24? Or maybe because he is a student and I'm a lecturer? Or maybe it IS because I AM getting OLD. Oh well, Hello Miss Old Nadia =_='

train incident.

Last Friday, when I was on my way to KLCC via LRT, there was a mother and her daughter sat in front of me. The daughter is so adorable and I think that was her first time on a train. She was like "Ohh mummy, I can see everything from here", "Ohhh mummy, look!" with her cute voice. I think the daughter is a chindian. So cute!

Anyways, while she was saying "ohhh" that and "ohh" this...I was listening to songs on my phone. I wasn't really paying attention until suddenly a chinese guy who sat beside me, waving his hand at my face. 

And it went like this:

Me: Yes?

Him: What kind of song are you listening to?

Me: Err...is it so loud?

Him: No...I was just asking.

Me: Owh okay...  

And when I was about to put earphone back into my ear...

Him: Don't you think she's annoying? I can't stand kids like that. If I were her parent, I would bury my face somewhere so that people won't see me.

He was referring to the daughter who sat in front of us. And he didn't talk softly... He talked quite loud which I was pretty sure that the mother could heard him.

Me: Erm...but she's cute what...and she's a kid...so it's normal la...

Him: Are you defending her??

Me: Yaa... I love kids. 

Him: *shaking his head*

And again, when I thought the conversation was over...

Him: Let me give you two situations...

Me: Uh hmm...

Him: If you have to choose between two guys...one of the guy is funny and he really makes you laugh...

Me: Uh hmm...

Him: The other guy...he really cares about you...he treats you like a princess...to him, you are the world... So who would you choose?

Me: I'll choose the first guy.

Him: Really? Why?

Me: I don't like guy who is clingy and needy. 

Him: Wohooo! Good answer! 

*He asked for a knuckle. Something like a high-five. I don't know what it's called actually*

Him: Must be based on experience right?

Me: No laa.. *faking a laugh*

Him: By the way, my name is Jon. You?

Me: Nadia. *shaking his hand*

And apparently he didn't stop there...

Him: I got the wrong train you know? I can't believe I took the wrong train before. I mean, I took train everyday to work and going back home. I don't know how I could take the wrong one just now.

Me: Maybe because you're so tired. You didn't realize it.

Him: Wow! Genius! Maybe... Right! Right! 

Me: *faking a laugh again*

But in my heart, I can't stop hoping that he would just shut up.

Him: So what are you doing now?

Me: I'm a lecturer.

Him: Wow! oh wow! where?

Me: INTEC. Do you know what is it?

Him: So you're teaching the untalented students? *laughing*

Him: I know some lecturers have to teach the untalented kids. *still laughing*

Me: They are actually very clever.

Him: Are you sure or not?

Me: Ya. They are under scholarship from JPA and MARA. They are going to overseas for their degree. I'm teaching A-Level students.

Him: Oh okay. So what are you teaching?

ME: English. Basic stuff before they are introduced to IELTS.

Him: Whoa! you teach IELTS? *laughing* you're teaching IELTS?? *sounded disbelief*

Me: Not really. I don't have the qualification to teach IELTS. I'm teaching them basic stuff.

Him: *laughing*

Me: *annoyed, and when I was about to put my earphone into my ear again...*

Him: Can I have your number? My station is next. Maybe we can keep in touch later.

Me: Err...Okay.

And yes, I gave him my number. I was holding my phone at that time. So I had to give it to him. And he miscalled right there and then to give me his number.

And when he walked out of the train, I felt relieved. And when I was about to put my earphone into my ear again, suddenly I heard a loud knocked behind me. And it was him. Knocked the window quite loud just to wave goodbye. And everybody in the train that was near me, looked at me. 

A few hours later.

Beep. Beep.

I got a text. And it was him.

"Nice to know that you're not in2 old guys. haha*

Next morning.

He called. But I didn't pick up.

I know he was being friendly. But there is something about his attitude that I don't like. he was like a little bit arrogant, I think. And quite rude. Especially when he commented about the little girl. I mean, you don't have to talk about it loudly right? I am so sure that the mother could heard him. Because she was sitting right in front of us. 


But to be honest, if he didn't talk about that kid in that kind of way, I might be interested to add him as my new friend. 

Oh well. Everyday you will meet new people right?

pathetic, i am.

yeah, i'm pathetic. i know. 

the fasting month is bacckk!

List of food that I wanted to eat before Ramadhan:

1. Sakae Sushi
2. Johnny's Steamboat
3. Chicken Rice Shop
4. Nando's
5. Old Town White Coffee
6. Cheesy Wedges (KFC)
7. Ben's
8. Red Velvet Cake/Cupcake
9. Aunty Anne
10. Tony Roma's
11. IKEA Meatballs
12. Butter Cream Chicken Rice

I'm so going to crave some of the food that I did not manage to eat before fasting. I don't really like to 'berbuka' at restaurants because i hate the waiting part. And the food will be served early and it will be cold once we eat it. Oh well....

Anyways, Selamat Berpuasa everyone!

Happy Ramadhan!

p/s: to the boys, please don't ponteng puasa ;)

i want twins!

aren't they just too cute?

should i care?

if only i could do that.

if only i have that kind of attitude. 

Check in the dark - The stand In

Lyrics:
i saw an angel night before last
they come from kentucky, who'd have thought that?
she had a smile, it was so genuinely kind
sorta make you feel like you're sipping on some fine red wine

she rendered me speechless, well she rendered me still
she had me feeling like the fool on the hill
she said she's taken but i don't believe
that she could be meant for anybody but me

angels come from kentucky i guess
sweet sweet girl you made my head a mess
you got me locked out here, dancing in the rain
drunk with the thought of your smiling face
i know you are an angel and it can not be
but what if it was you and what if it was me
and...what if 600 years ago, you were juliet and I was...
well you know how that story goes....

so what if its a puzzle and you're the only piece the only jig to make my saw complete
what if i go stumbling for the rest of my days because i am a cripple and you were my cane oh no....

angels come from kentucky i guess
sweet sweet girl you made my head a mess
you got me locked out here, dancing in the rain
drunk with the thought of your smiling face
i know you are an angel and it can not be
but what if it was you and what if it was me
and...what if 600 years ago, you were juliet and I was...
well you know how that story goes....


p/s: I don't know why but I think this song is so sweet. Can't stop listening to it.

Going down.

I built my wall of confidence this high...

but now....

it's crumbling down.....

crumbling down....

down....

down....

down...

down...

and

DOWN.

I have no more strength to pretend how tough i can be.

I have nothing but feel ashamed of myself. 

p/s: praying to Allah to help me to go through these difficulties and make me stronger than I was ever before. 

no happy ending.

Right now I'm in a phase where:

I just want run away and hide.

I can't handle the truth.

I can't stop blaming myself for making that stupid mistake.

For once, I just want things to go according to my plan.

Or how I imagine it to be. 

If i could turn back time...

I keep saying to myself, "there's no use of crying over spilt milk". But, it is not helping. I keep crying over the past. I keep thinking about past. I keep dreaming about the past. I want to be in the past. I want to be able to redo all the things that I've done and undo all the mistakes that I've made. 

I want to live my life with no regrets but unfortunately, I have plenty. I keep trying to pretend that it will all be alright. But every night before I sleep, I know it will never be alright. I keep trying to fix it but all i do is making it worse. I keep forcing myself to move forward, but all I want to do is move backwards and be in the past. Change the past. Live the past. 

My life is full of regrets and I just don't know how to deal with them. I don't know how to make my life better. I don't know how to make me feel better. All i know is, if i'm able to change the past, i might get to live like how i want it to be. 

I cried.

I cried and I cried and I prayed. 

Hoping that my life will be better. Hoping that I will have a better future. Hoping that I will be able to go through all the obstacles.

But somehow, I feel like I am destined to be a failure.

No matter how hard I try to climb up, I will always fall down.

I envy those who succeeds in everything.

Especially those whom I think are not worthy. Yes, I'm a little bit upset here. 

But maybe, just maybe, this is the way that God is trying to tell me to work harder. 

Maybe He wants to test me.

Or maybe He is punishing me for all the sins that I have done.

I cried and I cried and I prayed.

Hoping that all of this will go away.

Hoping that all of this is just a dream. 

Hoping to wake up tomorrow with a good news.

Perkara yang saya TAK SUKA.

Ada beberapa perkara yang saya memang TAK SUKA pasal orang dan beberapa perkara itu adalah:

1. TAK SUKA bile orang TAK SIGNAL nak ke kiri or kanan. Bikin stress ok?
2. TAK SUKA bile orang nak ke KIRI tapi SIGNAL KANAN atau sebaliknya. Perlu ke sekolah dan belajar kiri dan kanan ke?
3. TAK SUKA bile orang di depan berjalan sambil menghayunkan tangan dia setinggi yang boleh. Lebih-lebih lagi kalo dia memegang payung. Hello, ada orang kat belakang awak tue. 
4. TAK SUKE bile orang di depan jalan sangat lembab! 
5. TAK SUKE bile ada orang yang kita kenal buat-buat TAK NAMPAK padahal dia dah nampak. Tak perlu lah menggelabah sangat.
6. TAK SUKE bile orang lupe kawan bile dia dah ada kawan baru atau boyfriend/girlfriend baru. Bile dah susah baru terhegeh nak cari kawan lama la?
7. TAK SUKE memandu di belakang lori atau bas. Tak nampak jalan. Tapi bas and lori nie tak reti nak memandu di lorong yang sepatutnya mereka memandu. HISH!
8. TAK SUKE bile orang tue nak menipu tapi kantoi melalui Facebook or Twitter. Hello, kalo taknak kantoi, janganlah update status!
9. TAK SUKE bile orang tak paham bahasa. Macam nak sekeh je kepala.
10. TAK SUKE bile orang tue cakap lain, tapi dia buat benda lain lepas tue.
11. TAK SUKE bile orang tue sangatlah riak atau berlagak tapi berpura-pura tidak berlagak. Hello, actions speak louder than words ok?
12. TAK SUKE bile tengah tengok wayang, orang di belakang buat bising (i.e gelak, cakap kuat, bercerita pasal movie tue). Saya bayar tiket wayang mahal bukan untuk dengar awak bising atau bercerita, paham?
13. TAK SUKE kalo lelaki itu sangatlah kacak dan comel tetapi malangnya dia gay. Kenapa???

Orang sebegini bikin stress!