training, training, training.

first day of training: it made me thinking why the heck did i agree to this job when i don't think i can do it.


second day of training: i suck. 


third day of training: well, let's hope my third and last day of training will be better. i am praying hard for tomorrow.


p/s: i fell asleep during my training session with John. sorry John, it's not me, it's you.

but why aren't you?

all i want is for you to be proud of me.

but why aren't you?

yes, i'm not as clever as anybody else,

but i did try my best,

maybe not my 100%, 

but i did try.

i am happy with the result,

but why aren't you?

am i embarrassing you?

am i not good enough for you?

do you even have faith in me?

do you believe in me?

are you supporting me?

if you do, you have a funny way of showing it.

all i want is for you to be proud of me,

i may not be the best person in this world,

but i don't deserve to be belittled,

just like how other people did to me,

not from you,

especially from you.

i just want you to be proud of me,

but why aren't you?

i hope i'm dreaming it right.

i should be happy and excited, but i don't and i don't know why.
is it because i never wanted to do it in the first place?
or is it because i know i should be doing something else and not this? 
or is it because i have not experienced it yet and once i have, i'll be happy?
or is it because i have planned what i want for my future and right now, it does not go according to plan?


there are so many possibilities but deep down, i just got a feeling that i am not going to be happy.
maybe this is what Allah has planned for me. maybe this is just a phase. i don't know. 
all i know is, i just need to start think positive about it. maybe i will enjoy it, once i know what i got myself into.


for the past couple of weeks, i've been thinking of what i'm good at and so far, none. 
and then, i think what i had exprienced in the past and i realised, maybe what happened to me in the past, it was not all that bad. 
come to think of it, i did enjoy it. 
i just don't know why, only now i realize it.
but the only problem is, do i have a passion for it? and in order to know that, i need to experience it again. but right now, i am not given the chance to do so. i guess that is because, it was already too late for me. 
i just need to grab whatever opportunity that is given to me right now and see how it goes. 


"Dear God, please show me the right path that i need to take. i need Your guidance. i just can't do it myself. Amin"


and starting next week, my new journey will begin. but my old plan stays (it's not that old, since i've made that plan 3-4 weeks ago). let just say, i can now dream of what my future will be (based on my old plan, of course). but i just don't know if that is the right dream. i hope it is. because if it is not, my old plan has got to go and i don't want that. i like my old plan :) 


i'm hoping the best for me. and i'm hoping the best for all of you. let's hope the best for all us, shall we? :)

"i'd catch a grenade for ya"

i don't know about you guys, but this song is my new favourite song! i can't stop listening to it! it is from bruno mars and the it is called "grenade". listen to it..

p/s: i also love "just the way you are"...sweet song!

dilemma

i thought i already knew what i wanted. 

it sucks being ME.

oh no!

as most of you know, i have finished my studies like 3 months ago and i am now jobless. but right now, i don't want to talk about that.


i have just realized that my English is getting worse! can you imagine, after 5 years of being in the faculty of education and took TESL as my course, now i have difficulties to speak English fluently?? it's not that i was fluent in speaking English before, but i know i can speak better than i am right now. i am now also confused with my grammar. *horror*


i think i really need to educate myself again! okay, i am now more determined than ever to choose teaching as my profession because i think that will help me to learn my English again. i can teach people and at the same time, i can teach myself right? but, who wants an English teacher like me? a person who thinks that her English is getting worse? *horror* (but, i think i will just take whatever job that is being offered to me right now since i am penny-less)


come to think of it, the reason my English is getting worse is because i hardly communicate in English with anybody that i know of. i speak 'rojak' with my family as well as with my friends. back when i was in uni, i had to speak English in class or whenever i met my lecturers or supervisor. now, i only speak English when i go for interviews. and boy, i struggled hard to find words! i mean, it's like i don't know what happen to my vocabulary. even right now, i am still struggling to find the right words to describe what is happening to me right now. i am also not sure if my writing is grammatically correct or not right now. (well, i kinda like always have a problem with that and i am not proud of it) but this is getting worse! and i am scared!


okay nadia, starting from today, i need to read more English books and newspaper. i also need to speak English more (starting with my parents). i've stopped reading since i did not get any new books to read. i hardly read the newspaper because i would rather watch tv or online. i think i know why i am still jobless. my English sucks.


it's time for me to learn English again!


p/s: sorry if my grammar sucks. please correct me.

selena gomez

i think she looks so pretty in this video. 

raya! raya! raya!

♥ mama & papa ♥

♥ the whole family ♥

♥ me & my brothers ♥

♥ the girls (some of them) ♥

♥ the boys (some of them) ♥

these are some of the pictures during my first raya. there are more pictures but i will upload more in my facebook. or maybe you can check at nina's fb. hehe..there were like 8 families came to my house and it was like kinda crowded..but it was nice to see all of them. Happy Raya everyone!

p/s: my duit raya is so sikit! 

p/s/s: i put on weight! need to stop eating now! huhu

raya!

di sini, saya ingin memohon maaf kepada keluarga, saudara - mara dan juga rakan-rakan jika saya pernah melukakan perasaan anda melalui perbuatan ataupun percakapan.

percayalah bahawa saya tiada niat di hati untuk menyakitkan hati anda semua. saya minta maaf banyak-banyak. 

harap anda semua dapat memaafkan saya. 

saya berharap anda semua dapat meraikan Hari Raya tahun ini dengan penuh meriah.

saya sayang kamu semua ♥

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

p/s: jika saya buat open house, sila la datang yea :)

just a dream

Lyrics:

Chorus:

I was thinking about her
I'm thinking about me
I'm thinking about us
Where we gonna be

Open my eyes
And it was only just a dream
So i travel back
Down that road
Will she come back
No one knows and
I realize, it was only just a dream

I was at the top
Now its like im in the basement

 Number 1 spot
Now she's finding a replacement 

i swear now i cant take it
Knowing somebody's got my baby

Now you wait around,
Baby i can't think
I shoulda put it down 

shoulda got that ring

 cause i can still feel it in the air

See your pretty face
Run my fingers
Through her hair

My Love
My Life
My Shorty
My Wife
She left me
Im tight
Cause i knew
That it just
Aint right

Chorus

And i be ridin
And i swear i see
Your face and every time

 i try to get my usher on 

but i cant let it burn
And i just hope that
she notice she the only one i yearn for
No more sooner will
i Learn

Didn't give her all my love 

i guess now i got my payback

Now im in the club
Thinking all about my Baby 

Hey she was so easy to love
But wait, i guess that love wasnt enough
im goin through it

 every time that im alone
Now im wishing she would
Just pick up the phone
But she made a decision
That she wanted to move on
Cause i was wrong

Chorus

If you ever loved somebody
Put your hands up (2x)
And now they're gone and you
wish you could give them
everything

(2x)

Chorus

i don't like it (part 2)

if you think you are in charge, you are so damn wrong bitch!

i don't like it when you are trying to be in charge when my parents are not home.

just because i have never 'tegur' you before, that does not mean i don't mind with whatever that you are doing in this house.

i don't like it when you think you are a part of this family, because you are NOT.

trust me, YOU ARE NOT A PART OF THIS FAMILY. to me, at least.

my patience is running low. don't push it BITCH.

perfect two :)

Lyrics:

You can the peanut butter to my jelly.
You can be the butterflies i feel in my belly.
You can can be the captain
and i can be your first mate.
You can be the chills that i feel on our first date.

You can be the hero
and i can be your side kick.
You can be the tear
that i cry if we ever split.
You can be the rain from the cloud when its storming'
or u can be the sun when it shines in the morning'.

Don't know if i could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me.
And in time i know that we'll both see
that we're all we need.

Cause your the apple to my pie.
You're the straw to my berry.
You're the smoke to my high.
And you're the one i wanna marry.

Chorus
Cause you're the one for me (for me)
and I'm the one for you (for u)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the Perfect Two.

 We're the perfect two.
 We're the perfect two.
 Baby me and you,
 we're the Perfect Two.

You can be the prince and i can be your princess.
You can be the sweet tooth i can be the dentist.
You can be the shoes and i can be the laces.
You can be the heart that i spill on the pages.

You can be the vodka and i can be the chaser.
You can be the pencil and i can be the paper.
You can be as cold as the winter weather,
but i don't care as long as were together.

Don't know if i could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me.
And in time i know that we'll both see
that we're all we need.

Cause your the apple to my pie.
You're the straw to my berry.
You're the smoke to my high.
And you're the one i wanna marry.

Chorus

Bridge

You know that i'll never doubt ya'.
And you know that i think about ya'.
And you know i can't live without ya'

I love the way that u smile.
And maybe in just a while
i can see me walk down the aisle.

Chorus

p/s: i love you fiffy ♥