i need luck!

i am no longer working at TRUEVENTUS. to be honest, i am so relieved but sad at the same time. i think i miss some of my colleagues there. *sigh* but i never would have thought that i would survive 3 months working there. *clap clap*


i thought i could enjoy my 'holiday' 'till next year, but i can't. i need to find a job A.S.A.P. because i need to pay my credit card bills. i just realised that, i did not spend it on shopping, but more on my TOUCH 'N' GO. weird. 


but anyway, tomorrow i'll be having a mock teaching at RAFFLES INSTITUTE and i am freaking nervous! i haven't done this for quite some time! i'm hoping for the best. i hope i got it. if not, i might spend my next year feeling miserable and sad because i have no job. haha.


well, wish me good luck!
i am definitely going to need it!

songs i can't stop listening to.

i can listen to this song over and over again...

:)

moving on.

it was expected, but i was a little bit shocked.


moving on then, shall we?


p/s: maybe this is a sign that i will get a new opportunity? *wishing and hoping*

wishing and hoping.

i'm wishing and hoping that next year will be a better year for me. 

ameen.

tahan geli.

yeah, me and tatie had to tahan geli for about 10 mins. ;)

apabila diri tengah stress.....

Apabila saya sedang stress, sila jangan cari pasal dengan saya boleh?

• jangan nak main libas2 rambut macam igt diri tue cantek sangat padahal tak malu potong barisan orang.

• jangan nak double park when ada banyak lagi parking kat tempat lain. lepas tue menyusahkan aku nak kene cari ko kat setiap gerai kat pasar malam. 

• jangan nak banding-bandingkan aku dengan orang lain hanya sebab dia dapat banyak deal. dia event lain, aku event lain. event aku pun ko tak dapat nak close deal, ko nak compare kan aku la??

ughhh!!!!

still adjusting.

just to say, i miss my old life. i still can't accept that i am no longer a student. and my convocation last 2 weeks proved it all.

don't get me wrong, i am so thankful that i got to graduate with my friends. but, it also means that i am no longer a student. i won't have the chance to live the life like i had before. everybody is busy with their work and they live all over the place. it will not be easy to meet everybody like it used to. 

but anyway, to my friends, hope you all have a wonderful time at your new place i.e workplace :) i truly, deeply miss you guys.

*sigh*

my life is no longer the same. 
i know i should accept it and make the best of it.
but, i don't like it. yet.
maybe there is something in store for me in the future that i don't know about it yet.
i hope it will be better. soon. 
maybe this is just a phase.
maybe i need time to adjust myself to this new, kind of life. 
my life has now become a routine.
and i definitely don't like it. 

one thing about me.

i don't know if u know this..
but just to inform...


i'm a person who will always FORGIVE but NEVER FORGET.
so i might be all smiling and happy while i'm with you...but deep down, those scars won't go away. it will always be there and it will never heal.
sometimes, you will hear me starting to 'mengungkit' all of the things you've done to me before. all i can say is, just bear with me. i might hurt you by doing that but to me, it means i'm in the healing process. *karma is a bitch, isn't it?*


lesson to be learned here: don't hurt me if you don't want to be hurt. my way might be different than yours, but you'll feel the hurt that i felt. *still do actually* :)

David Beckham...you're cool :)

LOL!!!

David Beckham is such a cool person...hahaha :)

19.10.10

it was one of the best days i have ever had!


but my day started with a very bad stomache...so i got a half day off!
*planned to fake it actually, but it became real! super pain!*


and then i hung out at tatie's place and we went to meet acad and nana who were lining up already.
but me and tatie got cursed by other people when we tried to 'rempuh' to get to acad. they thought we were jumping the line. haha. *betul ke ayat jumping the line?*


and then, there we were. even though we bought the cheapest tickets, we enjoyed our time there. yes, the sound system was suck...but i did enjoy myself. and so was tatie, acad and nana.


i bet el, izza, liyana and adela were enjoying themselves too. 


"I WANT MORE! PARAMORE! I WANT MORE! PARAMORE!" ♥

you keep me waiting. and you don't care.

would it kill you just to say 'hye' or 'how are you'?
you ignore me. 
might as well just leave me. 
because you don't even bother to know how i'm doing.
you don't even care.
while i'm like a crazy person here waiting for you and wondering how you're doing.


i guess i'm the stupid person here.
and i still am. 
because i'm still hoping and waiting.


thank you so much.

i wanna hold your hand.

i hope for a better solution. but maybe, this is what we need. but just so you know, i love you.


and i wanna hold your hand.

it hurts.

it hurts.

i'm hurt.

and i have you to thank for.

thank you for making me like a desperate fool. you sure know how to make my day. i hope you are happy.

because i'm not.

glee-tastic!

i was never a big fan of GLEE, until i heard their version of "TOXIC".
Mr Schue is super duper HAWGHT!
they did a SUPER GREAT job singing this song. LOVE IT! ♥

it definitely makes the job more fun! :)

will people pay more attention to it or people will get distracted?

hurm...

but it surely looks MORE fun! haha

i survived.

the title says it all.

i survived my first week y'all!

training, training, training.

first day of training: it made me thinking why the heck did i agree to this job when i don't think i can do it.


second day of training: i suck. 


third day of training: well, let's hope my third and last day of training will be better. i am praying hard for tomorrow.


p/s: i fell asleep during my training session with John. sorry John, it's not me, it's you.

but why aren't you?

all i want is for you to be proud of me.

but why aren't you?

yes, i'm not as clever as anybody else,

but i did try my best,

maybe not my 100%, 

but i did try.

i am happy with the result,

but why aren't you?

am i embarrassing you?

am i not good enough for you?

do you even have faith in me?

do you believe in me?

are you supporting me?

if you do, you have a funny way of showing it.

all i want is for you to be proud of me,

i may not be the best person in this world,

but i don't deserve to be belittled,

just like how other people did to me,

not from you,

especially from you.

i just want you to be proud of me,

but why aren't you?

i hope i'm dreaming it right.

i should be happy and excited, but i don't and i don't know why.
is it because i never wanted to do it in the first place?
or is it because i know i should be doing something else and not this? 
or is it because i have not experienced it yet and once i have, i'll be happy?
or is it because i have planned what i want for my future and right now, it does not go according to plan?


there are so many possibilities but deep down, i just got a feeling that i am not going to be happy.
maybe this is what Allah has planned for me. maybe this is just a phase. i don't know. 
all i know is, i just need to start think positive about it. maybe i will enjoy it, once i know what i got myself into.


for the past couple of weeks, i've been thinking of what i'm good at and so far, none. 
and then, i think what i had exprienced in the past and i realised, maybe what happened to me in the past, it was not all that bad. 
come to think of it, i did enjoy it. 
i just don't know why, only now i realize it.
but the only problem is, do i have a passion for it? and in order to know that, i need to experience it again. but right now, i am not given the chance to do so. i guess that is because, it was already too late for me. 
i just need to grab whatever opportunity that is given to me right now and see how it goes. 


"Dear God, please show me the right path that i need to take. i need Your guidance. i just can't do it myself. Amin"


and starting next week, my new journey will begin. but my old plan stays (it's not that old, since i've made that plan 3-4 weeks ago). let just say, i can now dream of what my future will be (based on my old plan, of course). but i just don't know if that is the right dream. i hope it is. because if it is not, my old plan has got to go and i don't want that. i like my old plan :) 


i'm hoping the best for me. and i'm hoping the best for all of you. let's hope the best for all us, shall we? :)

"i'd catch a grenade for ya"

i don't know about you guys, but this song is my new favourite song! i can't stop listening to it! it is from bruno mars and the it is called "grenade". listen to it..

p/s: i also love "just the way you are"...sweet song!

dilemma

i thought i already knew what i wanted. 

it sucks being ME.

oh no!

as most of you know, i have finished my studies like 3 months ago and i am now jobless. but right now, i don't want to talk about that.


i have just realized that my English is getting worse! can you imagine, after 5 years of being in the faculty of education and took TESL as my course, now i have difficulties to speak English fluently?? it's not that i was fluent in speaking English before, but i know i can speak better than i am right now. i am now also confused with my grammar. *horror*


i think i really need to educate myself again! okay, i am now more determined than ever to choose teaching as my profession because i think that will help me to learn my English again. i can teach people and at the same time, i can teach myself right? but, who wants an English teacher like me? a person who thinks that her English is getting worse? *horror* (but, i think i will just take whatever job that is being offered to me right now since i am penny-less)


come to think of it, the reason my English is getting worse is because i hardly communicate in English with anybody that i know of. i speak 'rojak' with my family as well as with my friends. back when i was in uni, i had to speak English in class or whenever i met my lecturers or supervisor. now, i only speak English when i go for interviews. and boy, i struggled hard to find words! i mean, it's like i don't know what happen to my vocabulary. even right now, i am still struggling to find the right words to describe what is happening to me right now. i am also not sure if my writing is grammatically correct or not right now. (well, i kinda like always have a problem with that and i am not proud of it) but this is getting worse! and i am scared!


okay nadia, starting from today, i need to read more English books and newspaper. i also need to speak English more (starting with my parents). i've stopped reading since i did not get any new books to read. i hardly read the newspaper because i would rather watch tv or online. i think i know why i am still jobless. my English sucks.


it's time for me to learn English again!


p/s: sorry if my grammar sucks. please correct me.

selena gomez

i think she looks so pretty in this video. 

raya! raya! raya!

♥ mama & papa ♥

♥ the whole family ♥

♥ me & my brothers ♥

♥ the girls (some of them) ♥

♥ the boys (some of them) ♥

these are some of the pictures during my first raya. there are more pictures but i will upload more in my facebook. or maybe you can check at nina's fb. hehe..there were like 8 families came to my house and it was like kinda crowded..but it was nice to see all of them. Happy Raya everyone!

p/s: my duit raya is so sikit! 

p/s/s: i put on weight! need to stop eating now! huhu

raya!

di sini, saya ingin memohon maaf kepada keluarga, saudara - mara dan juga rakan-rakan jika saya pernah melukakan perasaan anda melalui perbuatan ataupun percakapan.

percayalah bahawa saya tiada niat di hati untuk menyakitkan hati anda semua. saya minta maaf banyak-banyak. 

harap anda semua dapat memaafkan saya. 

saya berharap anda semua dapat meraikan Hari Raya tahun ini dengan penuh meriah.

saya sayang kamu semua ♥

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

p/s: jika saya buat open house, sila la datang yea :)

just a dream

Lyrics:

Chorus:

I was thinking about her
I'm thinking about me
I'm thinking about us
Where we gonna be

Open my eyes
And it was only just a dream
So i travel back
Down that road
Will she come back
No one knows and
I realize, it was only just a dream

I was at the top
Now its like im in the basement

 Number 1 spot
Now she's finding a replacement 

i swear now i cant take it
Knowing somebody's got my baby

Now you wait around,
Baby i can't think
I shoulda put it down 

shoulda got that ring

 cause i can still feel it in the air

See your pretty face
Run my fingers
Through her hair

My Love
My Life
My Shorty
My Wife
She left me
Im tight
Cause i knew
That it just
Aint right

Chorus

And i be ridin
And i swear i see
Your face and every time

 i try to get my usher on 

but i cant let it burn
And i just hope that
she notice she the only one i yearn for
No more sooner will
i Learn

Didn't give her all my love 

i guess now i got my payback

Now im in the club
Thinking all about my Baby 

Hey she was so easy to love
But wait, i guess that love wasnt enough
im goin through it

 every time that im alone
Now im wishing she would
Just pick up the phone
But she made a decision
That she wanted to move on
Cause i was wrong

Chorus

If you ever loved somebody
Put your hands up (2x)
And now they're gone and you
wish you could give them
everything

(2x)

Chorus

i don't like it (part 2)

if you think you are in charge, you are so damn wrong bitch!

i don't like it when you are trying to be in charge when my parents are not home.

just because i have never 'tegur' you before, that does not mean i don't mind with whatever that you are doing in this house.

i don't like it when you think you are a part of this family, because you are NOT.

trust me, YOU ARE NOT A PART OF THIS FAMILY. to me, at least.

my patience is running low. don't push it BITCH.

perfect two :)

Lyrics:

You can the peanut butter to my jelly.
You can be the butterflies i feel in my belly.
You can can be the captain
and i can be your first mate.
You can be the chills that i feel on our first date.

You can be the hero
and i can be your side kick.
You can be the tear
that i cry if we ever split.
You can be the rain from the cloud when its storming'
or u can be the sun when it shines in the morning'.

Don't know if i could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me.
And in time i know that we'll both see
that we're all we need.

Cause your the apple to my pie.
You're the straw to my berry.
You're the smoke to my high.
And you're the one i wanna marry.

Chorus
Cause you're the one for me (for me)
and I'm the one for you (for u)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the Perfect Two.

 We're the perfect two.
 We're the perfect two.
 Baby me and you,
 we're the Perfect Two.

You can be the prince and i can be your princess.
You can be the sweet tooth i can be the dentist.
You can be the shoes and i can be the laces.
You can be the heart that i spill on the pages.

You can be the vodka and i can be the chaser.
You can be the pencil and i can be the paper.
You can be as cold as the winter weather,
but i don't care as long as were together.

Don't know if i could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me.
And in time i know that we'll both see
that we're all we need.

Cause your the apple to my pie.
You're the straw to my berry.
You're the smoke to my high.
And you're the one i wanna marry.

Chorus

Bridge

You know that i'll never doubt ya'.
And you know that i think about ya'.
And you know i can't live without ya'

I love the way that u smile.
And maybe in just a while
i can see me walk down the aisle.

Chorus

p/s: i love you fiffy ♥

nervous.

saya nervous.

Merdeka!

Happy Independence Day!

My favourite "Merdeka" song of all time :)

P/S: I miss celebrating Independence Day with friends at school and UiTM. We got to sing the Merdeka song out loud with the mini Jalur Gemilang in our hands. Those were the days. 

 HAPPY 53RD INDEPENDENCE DAY MALAYSIA!

31/08/10

thank you fiffy :)

27.08.10 - together for 18 months 

what did we do?

1. movie - phua chu kang the movie!

the movie was ok-lah. fiffy was the one who chose the movie. the movie was at 5pm. fiffy went to sunway pyramid around 11am to buy the ticket because today is holiday and he was scared that we will not be able to watch movie at all if we just gamble since i can't book the tickets online. initially, we wanted to watch "the last airbender" but i don't know why he decided to watch PCK instead. well, since he was the one who bought the tickets, i guess i just have to follow what he had chosen for us to watch. no biggie! :)

2. break fast - strawberry field

i chose this place because i was craving for their buttercream chicken rice. yummy! fiffy ordered the same thing too, except that mine was chicken, and his was seafood.

isn't it yummy? it was delicious! after fiffy bought the tickets, where he had to line up for about an hour, he went straight to Strawberry Field to book a table for us. i didn't know he was going to reserve the place because i thought we were going there after the break fast to avoid jam and waiting for tables. 

to be honest, i was surprised he did all that. i asked him to be in charge and he did! i'm happy that our date went well sayang :)

before i left, he gave me something. not a bouquet of flower, not a perfume, not a new bag, not a watch or any expensive things. he bought me a cooling pad for my laptop! a few days before, i told him that the cooling pad that i borrowed from him cannot be used anymore and i wanted to pay him back, since i broke his stuff. but instead, he bought me a new one. i know, maybe to some people, it is nothing, but to me, it is something. he just knew what i wanted or what i needed. and i needed a cooling pad for my laptop. thank you sayang!

thank you sayang. you always buy me stuff but i hardly buy u anything, i'm sorry. when i have money, i'll buy you the Superman t-shirt that you wanted ok ;)

happy 18th month sayang. i love you :)

ailurophobia

ailurophobia : fear of cats
--> An abnormal and persistent fear of cats which produces an undue anxiety reaction even though sufferers realize their fear is irrational. Sufferers of this phobia may fear not only the scratch or bite of a cat, but also the "evil mystique" of cats as depicted in Halloween folklore and such literary works as Edgar Allen Poe's "The Black Cat."


yeah..i'm scared that a cat will bite or scratch me..
it happened to me when i was a kid..
TRAUMA.


but i don't hate cats. i find them cute. but i'm scared to go near them or touch them. their fingernails are long and sharp! it hurts. 

aren't you scared of this cat? i feel like this cat will jump at anyone and scratch their faces off!

BUT

i do think this kitten is cute! :)

so don't think that just because i'm scared of cats/kittens, i'm going to be mean to them. 

because i won't. :)

i don't like it.

i never liked you.

i don't like it when you talk.

i don't like it when you sit beside me.

i don't like it when you think you are funny.

i don't like it when you act like you are innocent when you are not.

i don't like it when you think you are better than me.

i don't like it when you wear my clothes.

i don't like it when you talk on the phone.

i don't like it when you sleep.

i don't like it when you cook.

i don't like it when you bring your friends home.

i don't like it when you laugh.

i don't like it when you bring a child to my room and my parents' room.

i don't like it when you watch the television.

i don't like it when you listen to the radio.

i don't like it when you are in the car with me.

i don't like it when i have to drive you somewhere.

i don't like it when you are trying to make a conversation with me.

i don't like it when you talk about me to my parents.

i don't like it when you ask for my help.

i don't like it when you pretend to be concerned about me.

i don't like it when you scold my brothers.

to sum it up, i DON'T like YOU at all. the WHOLE YOU. in fact, i might starting to HATE you. thank you.